How Israelis Actually Answer "How Are You?"

A visiting friend once asked me why Israelis always answer "how are you?" with a shrug and a long pause. "In America we just say 'fine!' and move on." I told her that Israelis actually think about the question, and they answer honestly, even when it's inconvenient. Welcome to one of the most Israeli things about Israel.

The textbook answer: beseder

If you ask a Hebrew textbook what to say when someone asks ma nishma? (how are you?), it'll tell you to answer beseder (fine). That's technically correct. It's also what most tourists do.

Israelis, though, rarely stop at beseder. They consider the question, then give you a real answer, even if it's a small one. "Fine" feels dismissive to them, like you didn't take the question seriously.

What Israelis actually say

Here are the real answers you'll hear:

• Beseder, toda. Fine, thanks. The baseline polite answer.
• Ha-kol tov. Everything's good.
• Lo mashehu. Not much (literally "not something"). A casual "eh, okay".
• Mamash tov. Really good. Used when you actually mean it.
• Ayef. Tired. An honest one-word answer.
• Me'utzban. Annoyed.
• Samayach. Happy.

Notice the honesty. Israelis will tell you they're tired, or annoyed, or excited, and they'll expect you to engage with it. It's not oversharing, it's the cultural default.

The "not bad" category

When someone isn't great but also isn't terrible, they use softer hedge answers:

• Ein al ma lehitlonen, nothing to complain about.
• Over, passing (as in, the day is passing).
• Yesh li yamim yoter tovim, I've had better days.

These are perfectly normal Israeli answers. They signal "I'm okay but not great, and I'm telling you the truth". You're expected to respond with empathy, not a scripted smile.

The classic Israeli shrug

If someone shrugs, pauses, and says nu, ma nishma, chayim ("well, what's going on, that's life"), they're telling you the day is what it is. Not great, not awful. You're supposed to nod in solidarity. This is one of my favorite Israeli moves because it's so direct and unpolished.

The bigger cultural point

Israelis don't do the American "fine!" because they find it a little fake. If you're not actually fine, why say you are? Honesty, even in casual exchanges, is the default. This can feel startling at first if you're used to polite scripts, but it's also kind of refreshing once you get used to it.

This also means that when an Israeli asks you how you are, they actually want to know. Not a deep answer, just a real one. "Tired, I didn't sleep much" is a perfect answer. So is "hot, it's too hot today."

How to sound Israeli when answering

Here's a quick rule of thumb: give a real answer plus a small reason. Don't just say beseder. Say beseder because X, or tired because Y.

• Beseder, toda, yesh li yom aruch ba-avoda. Fine, thanks, I've got a long day at work.
• Ayef, lo yashanti tov. Tired, I didn't sleep well.
• Mamash tov, chazarti mi-chufsha. Really good, I just got back from vacation.

That little reason is the thing that makes your Hebrew conversation feel Israeli and not textbook. It invites the other person to engage, which they will.

The one thing you should never say

Don't say "I'm fine, how are you?" and then immediately move on. Israelis will think you're being rude or avoiding them. Pause, wait for their answer, engage with what they said. This is small-talk culture, but it's real small talk, not scripted small talk.

For more Israeli conversation patterns and audio examples, our phrases section has real sentences with native pronunciation. And our blog has more posts on how Israelis actually talk.

Next time someone asks how you are, tell them the truth. You'll fit right in.